![]() The Way of Men is an attempt to answer the questions, “ What is masculinity? What does it mean to be a man? What is the essence of manliness?” It’s an articulation of what makes men men, unencumbered by ideology, philosophy or religion, the truth that we all know and have known for millennia but could not find the words for. Reading it won’t get you laid, make you money or give you bigger abs. Jack Donovan’s latest book, The Way of Men, is not a self-help guide. There’s no equivalent phrase for women, nobody calling on them to “woman up.” The reality that Bill Bennett, Kay Hymowitz and the rest acknowledge but won’t say aloud is that women are born and men are made. More importantly, “man up” implicitly states that manhood is something that males must earn. Implicit in using the phrase “man up” is that there is a fixed definition of “man” that the males of today have failed to meet. Look at all the mindless “man up” shaming coming from the media today. So does society at large, never mind their claims of gender being a social construct. So did my friends, and so does any man who’s ever used “fag” as an insult. I couldn’t have articulated all this a decade ago, but at a certain instinctual level, I knew it. More than that, these men not only don’t care that they’ve failed at being men, they revel in it and demand the world reorient itself to accommodate their failures. Faggot, gay, girly-man, fairy, fruit: these are all terms to describe men who fail at being men. Faggotry doesn’t refer specifically to homosexuality, though a lot of homos happen to be fags. To a bunch of third-graders jostling for social status on the playground, faggotry was like porn: they couldn’t define it, but they knew it when they saw it. I’m from the generation for whom “fag” and “gay” were common taunts, much to the consternation of our teachers and parents. Emo Roommate may have been getting more pussy than I was, but he was something I didn’t want to be. #Jack donovan codeI suppose it was a violation of the bro code to cockblock him like that, but I couldn’t have cared less at the time served him right for being an unbearable prick.Īs desperate as I was to remake myself, I had my limits. In fact, one Sunday morning I came home from a long night of drinking Keystone Light and striking out with the ladies to the sight of his girlfriend making out with a redheaded girl on his bed while he grinned. During the short time I lived with him, he basically had a rotating harem of three or four girls at any given time, inexplicably drawn to his fey mannerisms and pissy passive-aggressive behavior. I initially just tried to avoid him, spending most of my non-class time hanging out with my friends or other stuff, only coming home to sleep, but things eventually came to a head and I ended up transferring to a new room.īut despite his general obnoxiousness, Emo Roommate had one thing over me: he got laid. We clashed on almost everything, from his habit of making out with his girlfriend underneath the sheets to our fights over the thermostat (he always bitched that it was too hot, even when it was five degrees out). Everything about this guy was effeminate and despicable: he talked with a lisp, he wore his hair long with bangs, and all of his friends were girls. I’m re-posting it here as the site is now defunct.ĭuring my first semester at college, I had the misfortune of having an emo for a roommate. A fundamental part of intelligent behavior is planning.NOTE: This article was originally published at In Mala Fide on April 11, 2012. Planning is thinking about a goal and then organizing the activities to achieve the goal. With a plan, you can see how much you have progressed towards your goal and how far on your map to the next destination. ![]()
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